AmaiLove

formspring.me

2010-03-02T19:30:00.001-08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/chardelw

formspring.me

2010-02-15T18:09:00.001-08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/chardelw

formspring.me

2010-02-10T22:13:00.001-08:00

Ask ,tell,or say anything http://formspring.me/chardelw

formspring.me

2010-02-09T22:40:00.001-08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/chardelw

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2010-01-29T13:06:00.001-08:00

I"m bored Ask me anything http://formspring.me/chardelw

New Love

2010-01-29T12:33:00.000-08:00

I've been MIA because my vaca is over and i'm back in school i've been neglecting my baby...but I also have a tumblr which i'm using for pics and quotes and since not much is going on in my life...but I haven't forgotten my blog. http://justchardel.tumblr.com/

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2010-01-18T10:44:00.001-08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/chardelw

1923 2010

2010-01-18T05:25:00.000-08:00

So around 6 am this morning I'm Watching this movie "Rosewood" which is a movie that is based on a true story that happened in 1923 and in the middle of watching a group of white men beat the shit out of this black man. I began to feel angry, I was on the verge of tears. I was taken back I just started hating white people while watching this film. My phone rings and it's my mom, she's in Jamaica and she tells me she's standing over her cousin's body who was beaten to death by a gang of black men. So now i'm puzzled thinking WHAT THE FUCK!!

Did really really improve since 1923. In 1923 black people were united, we helped each other out. Now 1n 2010 we're we're no longer that way. It's no longer Blacks against Whites, we're our own worst enemy. we have so many separation between blacks it's not even funny. Good hair, Bad hair, light skinned, dark skinned, rich, poor.

It's the celebration of Martin Luther king Jr. today and I feel even worse that this happened on this day, cause now I'm just left with a whole bunch of questions. Are we honestly better off now? I know that everything is not negative but at this moment its kinda over powering the positive..

formspring.me

2010-01-17T22:56:00.001-08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/chardelw

Happy Birthday Martin Luther King, Jr.

2010-01-15T20:42:00.000-08:00

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languished in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we've come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds."

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.

We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

We cannot walk alone.

And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.

We cannot turn back.

There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating: "For Whites Only." We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until "justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream."¹

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. And some of you have come from areas where your quest -- quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."2

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:

My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.

Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,

From every mountainside, let freedom ring!

And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true.

And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.

Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.

Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.

Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.

But not only that:

Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.

From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:

Free at last! Free at last!

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

In My Dreams

2010-01-15T04:23:00.000-08:00

Decided to start a second blog, I love quotes and I love to find quotes to relate to different things thats going on in my life..and it helps so this blog will consists of inspirational, love, life... quotes.
http://amanimoon.blogspot.com/

Finally cut it all off

2010-01-14T13:41:00.000-08:00

Just felt like it was a classic moment, new beginning type of thing.

Just got out the shower

I love my wife beaters, I still need to find out the history of the name.

Prayers For Haiti

2010-01-13T12:33:00.000-08:00

Okay I really don't have much to say at this moment but I will be updating this. it's very sad to see whats going on in Haiti, My eyes are glues to the news but, i sometimes have to change the channel because so of the pictures just makes me want to cry. and I wish I had money to go to Haiti and help all I can but for now I guess I gotta do my part from here. But I encourage everyone to help out as much as you can.

It might not seem like we can do much but any little effort is great. I don't want to go deep in to it and preach but at the end of the day weather if its in Africa, Jamaica, or Haiti we are separated but we are still one people.

Donate to Yele.org for Haiti Relief Fund, just like we did. It takes a few seconds and any amount can HELP

text YELE to 501 501 and 5 dollars will go toward earthquake relief** its billed right to ur acctount

formspring.me

2010-01-12T16:49:00.001-08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/chardelw

formspring.me

2010-01-12T14:15:00.001-08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/chardelw

Fear of...

2010-01-05T03:25:00.000-08:00

It takes forever for me to trust anyone, and I suck with the whole showing feelings and affection toward the opposite sex.. I really have a serious issues, I am terrified of getting hurt, and the way I prevent this is by not letting a guy get to know anything personal about me im like a freaking robot. I leave before I am left. This saved me alot of pain when I was younger but now that i'm getting older, shit getting serious I really need to stop it!!

Ok I admit it, that's the first step right.

Big Chop pt.1

2010-01-05T02:33:00.000-08:00

So I got out of the shower yesterday and just chopped off the sides and back of my hair. I would have done the entire thing but I feel weird not having any hair in my face. i'm use to hiding behind my hair.But it was really that east for me. It wasn't that dramatic for me because I wear my hair pinned up anyway except no there's no pins.

Empire State Of Mind♥

2010-01-03T08:32:00.000-08:00

For the past 3 years me and my Bff Kaliymah have spent New Years in New York with Tacarra. Tacarra and Dana are sweethearts.I was there for two days, I wanted to stay longer but I had to come home for my booboo, who's visiting for a few days...He leaves today actually, I'm so Sad..but NY was fun.

12.2.09

2010-01-02T19:50:00.000-08:00

Happy 2010

2010-01-02T15:33:00.000-08:00

I am sooo late but i've been pretty busy alot is going on right now. Alot of good things. Anyways I have soo much to to write on my brain i can't even begin to put my thoughts down. if I do it'll be a mess. but I'm gonna clears my head. I hope everyone had a wonderful and safe New Years.♥

Congrats To Kaliymah

2009-12-30T14:15:00.000-08:00

Soo My BFF is going natural....I'm excited:)

BARBIE????

2009-12-28T12:25:00.000-08:00

First of all I would like to say that Nicki Minaj is a grown woman and she can do and rap about anything she wants. Other grown women calling themselves “Barbie” or putting “Minaj” at the end of their names is kind of sad, but again they’re grown so I just choose to ignore it. However my problem is seeing under age females and some males, dressing like her, taking photos like her, and literally imitating everything she does down to the way she talks and the way she acts. There are girls that actually say her lyrics every hour, and for some reason they choose her most awful, nastiest parts. I first heard of Nicki a few years ago and she wasn’t this ditsy.
This is not all about Nicki Minaj. It’s just irritating that all girls want to be now is fake, plastic and famous. They don’t even want to be famous for talent they just want to be famous. There are people out there that really respect the art of acting, singing, and dream of being known for it but it seems that today we have the Kardasian sisters to look up to, that are famous for nothing, well that sex tape. WTF!! Girls are just plain materialistic now a days. They don’t have real dreams; they don’t want to work for anything. They think acting stupid is cute. And the thing I can’t wrap my head around is the fact that they all wanna look the same it’s boring and unoriginal, get a brain.

2009-12-25T15:55:00.000-08:00

Hope Everyone had a Great Holiday, its not over yet so stay safe. Anyways this was just another day for me stayed in and eat ALOT...but the family time is lovely.

So I went in my mom's closet all the way at the bottom and found the coolest clothes. they're old, they haven't been worn, thought they were cool. My Mommy is Pretty cool♥ I'm in lovee the leggings there were more but I got lazy.

I actually spent most of my day putting studs onto my pleather jacket...lol i mean i could have just bought a studded jacket but this was way more fun.

Yea so the Fro kinda went with the 70's vibe so...

Happy Holidays

2009-12-24T23:36:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, or just happy friday. Enjoy your break from school or work, spend time with your love ones., and just be safe over the holidays.♥ and a very special thank you to everyone following my blog it means a lot to me.

FRO

2009-12-20T12:40:00.001-08:00

I had my hair pinned up going to bed and when i woke up this id how it looked..just getting out of bed and I was like COOL..so I Put some eye shadow and lip gloss on..i'm snowed in so I took some pics.

Sometimes Girls Really Just Wanna have Fun!!

2009-12-20T04:18:00.000-08:00

I'm still trying to figure out why everyone acts like being single is the worst thing in the world. I mean it's really not that bad. I mean its to the point were people would rather be in a bad relationship rather than be single. throughout the last few years I've let down more than a few guys because I don't wanna be trapped in a relationship that I know isn't going to work. sometimes we are given signs at the beginning of getting to know someone, we end up ignoring them because we are afraid to be alone. Well i made a promise to myself that I won't ignore my instinct anymore. I'm not being mean or picky and yes I know no one is perfect but I feel as if there are just some signs that can not be ignored. After talking on the phone, hanging out and watching their interaction with others you begin to get a feel of this persons mind set. And this is when you start to ask yourself questions on what type of person they are, does he seem like he wants a serious relationship, is he just for fun, or just friendship. these are things that need to be known in the getting to know each other stage that we need to decide, it'll save you and the person alot of time.

Being single is not bad, its freeing. Just go out find yourself and enjoy your youth, enjoy your friends. this is the perfect time to enjoy these thing in a few years when you decide to have a family and you have a steady job we're not going to have these opportunity as often as we do not.Relationships are hard work, if you can't handle it whats wrong with having fun with your friends.

Most Girls Want a Man With The Bling-Bling.

2009-12-20T02:09:00.000-08:00

Most Girls want a man with the bling-Bling..I'm not most girls. I mean do I really look that materialistic that dudes feel the need to tell me all the money and cars they have(I could care less ), Guys figure out the type of Women you're dealing with b4 u go up to the with the BS cause you will look STUPID.

It is 5:11 in the morning and I was just messing around looking at different blogs when I came across http://strawberryess.blogspot.com I was just reading her blogs and listening to her songs her playlist was great didn’t skip not once..Anyways Pink’s song “most girls” came on and I just started thinking. I’ve had so many men came up to me and tried to use their money, clothes, cars and other material things to get with me and I’m thinking do I really look that materialistic. I mean is this all you got? But then again on the other hand there are a lot of females that do go after material things. This is sad to me and I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve heard “you better talk to him he has, money or a nice car.” Okay I’m sure its nice to have someone that’s financially stabled with nice things but that’s not my point. They do this assuming that its going to make them look better and it doesn’t. How do you look bringing that up in the first conversation you have with a person?

For me I don’t look at a person for the things they have I’d rather look at the things they’re doing in their life, the goals that they have for themselves. I’m in school, I don’t have a car, and am the most broke I’ve ever been in my life. So if I don’t have all these things why should I expect a man my age to have so much when they’re only 21.

I look at older generations you know like my mom or my grandparents they met when they had nothing fell in love with nothing and build their lives off nothing together and I’m 21 years old and my parents are still together. But even if they weren’t still together my point is they weren’t based on material things.

My reasons for going natural

2009-12-18T02:46:00.000-08:00

My Hair Story

Okay I got my first perm going into high school. My mom wanted me to wait until I graduated High School when I turn 18, but I was young and everyone had perms so I wanted one too. My hair was long and it was pretty healthy everyone complimented it. But as yeas past I really started getting bored with my hair. So going into my junior year I dyed my hair brown it was like a brick looking color. Then I cut it I can’t even tell you how many times I cut my hair. I continued dying it until it was a blonde color or really light brown. Between 2006 and now I’ve practically done everything to my hair besides going bald, which I’ve sometimes feel like doing. In 2006 for my Junior Prom I discovered Weave, Boy did I discover WEAVE. I would glue, sew do everything to my hair and on to of that I was still getting perms and dying my hair all sorts of colors. I took a break from the weave and dyed my hair black in 2008. I rocked a short hair do. Then I got back into weaves until just recently.

Weaves, Perms, Good Hair, Bad hair…

I personally don’t have a problem with weaves, or perms. However I do have a huge problem with people thinking that’s the only type of hair there is or putting it inside our heads that anything besides straight or non-African texture hair is ugly. I have a problem with 5-year-olds getting perms; It’s just not right to me. To me that’s telling a child from a young age that they’re not good enough. I feel that we’ve been trained at an early hair to think that our hair is ugly, and I don’t blame anyone for thinking it because Its everywhere it’s in our magazines, every time I change my TV channel that’s what’s considered beautiful. This good hair, bad Hair thing is just ridiculous to me because there is no such thing. There is only healthy hair. I don’t have a problem with weaves, in fact I will probably wear weave in the future. My problem is people who can’t live without weave, as soon as they take it out they have to put more back in I’ve seen girls that go to tear just because they don’t have their weave that crazy to me.

Why I’m going Natural.

I’m going for a number of reasons, the first one is because I’ve done everything I can think of to my hair and I just want to go back to my natural state. My second reason is because I’m tired of flat irons, perms and hair product in the world. I’m tired of wrapping my hair, I’m tired of wearing shower caps I love getting my hair wet when I take a shower and believe it or not this is a big part of it for me. My third reason is because I found myself hiding under weaves I was one of those girls who wore weave all the time I was this way for about a year. It’s not that I hated my hair it I just thought it looked better with weaves because I became so use to always wearing it. My forth reason is because being natural is very freeing to me and it takes a very strong person to do. Not everyone is strong enough to go natural because you have to put up with a lot of shit. I’ve only been doing it for 6 month and I’m just in my transition and already I’m getting shit about my hair , sometimes I get pissed but you just have to just laugh it off. You grow a lot from it it’s a very emotional experience. My fifth reason is because it’s teaching me a lot of things about myself. It’s teaching me how to love myself all of me without any enhancement, and the greatest feeling is the one I get when I get out the shower with my hair wet and pulled back. Just looking at myself, no make-up, just pure me and I accept and love myself. It also attracts a different type of people, there’s a huge difference in meeting someone with fake hair, fake nails, a face full o make up and when they see you without all that it’s not the same as just meeting someone and knowing that they like you for the person that’s standing there and nothing is going to change later on in your relationship. It’s beautiful to me. MY sixth and final reason is for my future daughter. The daughter that I hope to have one day. Not any time soon. So right now I consider myself leading by example. I want her to grow up loving herself and accepting herself for who she is. I’m not going to stop or judge her for deciding to do whatever pleases her at an appropriate age, but I she will love herself. And I’m doing this all for her.

Finally..I recommend going natural to everyone its a very great experience which I'm still going through, and its worth it.

12.17.09

2009-12-17T21:24:00.000-08:00

FINALS!!!

2009-12-16T14:31:00.000-08:00

Sooo it's about that time where everyone is freaking out about finals last night i satyed up until 6am I only spent two hours on home work thou...lol idk beside the the fact that I might fail math this semester wasn't hard for me.I am very proud of myself for completing my first semester of college. Back to the math I'm illiterate when it comes to math seriously that shit is like Japanese to me I hear the teacher and I sit in the front of the class but I still don't get it pass or fail its just another thing that i'm going to have to work on there's no need having a heart attack over it thou that's life.I don't understand the need to teach us a whole bunch of shit we're never gonna use in real life I mean I promise i'm not going to use 80% of the shit I learn in math. Thats why its so hard for so many people we don't use the shit the only time in life I ever see those things is in math class.

@ around 6am

aww this made made my day

2009-12-16T14:00:00.000-08:00

Omg I really love your blog I'm on it every day and I just think its a breath of fresh air. I can relate to everything you write about I feel like you are reading my mind...lol but seriously just keep the blogs coming because its really inspiring. P.S your cool don’t change. ♥ Ashley

Generation Lost

2009-12-13T13:55:00.000-08:00

Skulls and crossbones and death bandanas
A liqueur store in every corner in Atlanta
Cops riding round tossing niggas in the slammer
Tell me what’s wrong i could really use some answers
Nowadays everybody wants to be a rapper
About 2 years ago everybody was a trapper
Obviously money is what everybody’s after
Cos slavery aint changed it’s a modern day disaster
Now these are my words from me to you
Everything you do from your shades to your shoes
From your chains to your coupe came from the two
Trust me i would know i was raised on the two
Ok, now let me just get your attention
Imma turn the tables so you don’t get defensive
Imma put my bullshit aside for a second
Cos i cant be fake, cos God wont let me
I used to wear a grill because it was the trend
Not because i liked it, i just wanted to fit in
Then i got Eastside tatted on my skin
And i tried to get dreads but my hair was too big
But i was lost, i ain’t know who i was
What else was there to do besides look like a thug
So in my senior year at Columbia High
I dropped out of High School when i got signed
B.o.B was the name, i ain’t like Bobby Ray cos i was ashamed
But you can call me Bobby Ray from this day forth and
I could give a damn about the fame and fortune
Honestly i don’t even listen to rap
Cos when i turn the radio on, out comes crap
And if you make good music thats ok, but
On the radio that they don’t play
Its easy to see we created a beast
Cos everybody wants to hear what they don’t need
And now all the rappers got a stoller to give you
That bullshit music so they can continue to live
The position that i’m in is quite an interesting predicament i will admit
But you can count on me cos i’m refusing to give in
Cos imma give you music cos we need it to exist, bitch
So imma play my guitar, rap about aliens and sing about stars
Til you understand that’s what we are
So we aint got to struggle no more so we don’t starve
I swear to God i love you with every bar
We all got problems that need to be solved
So while i got the mic imma speak my thoughts
And imma keep it real til the day i fall

Everything happens for a reason

2009-12-12T15:40:00.000-08:00

You know when you're going through some shit, and just when you think its gonna get better it just ends up getting worst. And then just when you think thats when it's gonna finally end shit gets even worst. Well that's what my life has been like lately. And although I would like to mope around, cry and complain about it I can't find it in myself to do so because as bad as things maybe right now for me it's not really that bad. Its the worst for me only because its something that I'm not use to.I really can't be angry and as sad as I want to be because i have a great family, I have good friends, my health is good, i'm in school, and so many people would like to be where I am. Shit now that I'm sitting here thinking about it my generation is soft including me, there are only few of us that really knows what working hard is. As bad as things may be just remember there are always people that are going through worst. The saying "everything happens for a reason" is no joke i'm living proof of that. everything is life works off each other its happing for a reason from waking up everyday at the same time then one day you wake up an hour late, that one day means something. If you didn't get into the school you wanted to it was for a reason. If you didn't get the guy or girl you like Trust me its for a reason. And try not to judge people, or ever think you know whats going on in their lives just by looking at them because 99.9% of the time you're wrong. I don't care if they're the happiest, or meanest person that can be their cover.

pursuit of happiness

2009-12-12T00:48:00.000-08:00

I honestly stayed in all day yeaterday into today and listened to this man. I don't go crazy over celebs except Bob Marley But I have to meet this guy.

Clones

2009-12-11T21:57:00.000-08:00

Bleach, Nip, Tuck: The White Beauty Myth ep1 1/4
Uploaded by NzingahMorena. - Parties, dorm life, and other college videos.

Bleach, Nip, Tuck: The White Beauty Myth ep1 2/4
Uploaded by NzingahMorena. - College experience videos.

Bleach, Nip, Tuck: The White Beauty Myth ep1 3/4
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"As a part of her new look she dyed her hair blonde" REALLYYY
This woman in the video would rather risk dying and leaving her children just to get "Victoria Beckham's breast." That's so sad. Now i've never had her boobs i'm only a b cup and i can not come close to relating, but she didn't say anything about pain relating problems like back pains and such she said it plain she's going for Victorias look. Seriously what is this world coming to? How boring would our world be if we all looked and act alike. Skinny with longs straight hair is not the only form of beauty I know we're surrounded by images telling us it is but its really not. The world is diverse and filled with different forms of beauty. We were all made the way we are for a reason and it wasn't forign objects in our bodies just to live up to what we consider beautiful. If you are going to do something to your body do it for you because you want to and you think its cool don't do it to impress anyone.

The soundtrack of my life

2009-12-11T16:54:00.000-08:00

It basically speaks for it self

Kid Cudi
Man On The Moon
I never gave a fuck
I never a fuck about what niggas thought about me
I mean I did but like fuck it yummzsayin
You gon' love me man
You gon' love me man

V1
They can't comprehend
They even come close to understanding him
I guess if I was borin they would love me more
Guess if I was simple in the mind
Everything would be fine
Maybe if I was jerk to girls
Instead of being nice and speakin kind words
Then maybe it would be ok to say then
I wasn't a good guy to begin with

HOOK
But my mind is all crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy...
They got me thinkin I aint human,
Like I came in from above, above, above, above...
Feelin like a airplane in the sky
But then they say I'm crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy...
They got me thinkin I aint human,
Like I came in from above, above, above, above...
Feelin like a bird sittin high high

CHORUS
I be that man on the moon
I'm that man on the moon
And imma do what I do so
Do you hey hey
I be posted with my blunt and a brew my dude
I'm that man on the moon
I'm up up on the moon

V2
Close my eyes, hide in the dark
It's a curtain call, come one come all
All I do is try to make it simple
The ones that make it complicated
Never get congradulated
I'm somethin different in all aspects
Don't want a woman just to love her assets
I Still wife her up even with her flat chest
The type to get hurt
But that's the past tense

HOOK
My mind is all hazy, hazy, hazy, hazy...
I be thinkin that I'm wrong,
Cuz they used to call me lame, lame, lame, lame...
My swag was a little different
But then my mind is hazy, hazy, hazy, hazy...
I be thinkin that I'm wrong,
But they the ones who lame, lame, lame, lame...
I got the last laugh nigga

CHORUS
I be that man on the moon
I'm that man on the moon
And imma do what I do so
Do you hey hey
I be posted with my blunt and a brew my dude
I'm that man on the moon
I'm up up on the moon

Kelis

2009-12-11T15:54:00.000-08:00

Pretty is annoying and it’s boring. You don’t get any credit for being pretty because it’s what your parents did and what God did so if you can actually do something creative and do something that’s not always easy on the eye, I can appreciate it.-Kelis

12.10.09

2009-12-10T11:40:00.000-08:00

My sister is 19

2009-12-10T00:50:00.000-08:00

My younger sister turned 19 yesterday. I love her soooo much and I don't know or would ever want to know what life would be like without her.Me being away at school is the longest i've ever been from her since she was born.

Sister, please hold my hand
As we journey through this land
Together we stand, together we will fall
No matter what, God will keep us together
That will be the best of all

Sister, please hold my hand
Because without you I can't stand
For we were put on this earth for a reason
To go through every good and bad season

Sister, please hold my hand
As our strength, together, builds each other to become strong
So that our love for each other will last long

Epistemological Autobiography

2009-12-09T22:10:00.000-08:00

So I was assigned to write a paper on "How do I know What I know?" we didn't have to exactly answer the question it was just something to help us learn a little about our self. this was assigned in the beginning of the semester and was due today so I did this last night. we had no limit she said she would take three sentences, but I ended up writing 4 and a half pages. I sill didn't read it yet I just wrote what was on my mind at 4 in the morning.

How do I know what I know?

I was born on this planet called earth on October 17,1988, so I’ve been told I mean I don’t really know because I do not remember my birth or most of my child hood. I was born on the island of Jamaica where I enjoyed a very simple life. I spent most of my time at the beach staring at the cloud and its reflection in the water; I thought it was the most beautiful thing. I would run straight to the beach after school was out. I lived with my grandmother along with some extended family in a small town where everyone knew each other and almost everyone was connected or related to me because both my grandmothers had 10 children each. My parents lived in the U.S and visited as often as they could, they visited pretty often because I can remember them being there for my most memorable moments.

I was a very adventurous kid, most of the children in my town thought I was weird. Jason was my best friend whom I met when I was in preschool, he understood me. He was the only person that knew me that didn’t call me weird even to this day. Maybe that explains why I’m 21 years old and I’ve never had a real relationship with the opposite sex. Was Jason even real? I climb a lot as a child, and I have the scars to prove it. One day I decided to climb a huge fence that separated the high school students from the elementary student. I just wanted to eat lunch with the high school students because they had better lunch. So I climb the gate with two other girls and sat under a tree to eat lunch, a few minutes went by and I felt a piece of metal hit me in my head. There was so much blood but it didn’t hurt so I walked to the hospital where I passed my teacher on the way there she just looked at me and shook her head. I was scared but not because of the scar but because I didn’t want my mom to find out what happened. It turned out that the injury was pretty bad and I had to get stitches. To this day it still hurts in that spot if I put enough pressure on it. I went home to see my mom brushing her teeth and it was hard for her to miss the huge bandage on my head, I thought she would be mad but she just hugged me and laughed. I was just recovering from a broken arm because I decided to go to the cemetery one night and climb trees I fell out of the tree onto a grave; I still remember the grave because my I went to the guys funeral with my grandmother, that was our thing she knew everyone so she would go to every funeral and dragged me along with her because I was the oldest. I remember the guy because he had extremely red lips.

I loved everything about Jamaica but I didn’t appreciate the simplicity of everything until I was no longer there. I love the sun, I love the water, the trees, just the freedom of being around everyone that loved me and not ever having to worry about being kidnapped those things didn’t exist where I lived.

On December 27^,1998 I was on my way to the airport. The car crashed and we did not make it to the airport that day. I was happy the car crashed, I remember getting out the car and crying in my grandmothers arms telling her that I didn’t want to go. The next day I was crying my eyes out in the plane with my younger brother and sister. I was ten and they didn’t cry. We finally got off the plane. It was freezing, there were so much people and they were moving so fast and I hated it. I was angry and I had never felt weather like that before. I saw my parents and I got happy but I was under the impression that I would see my grandmother soon. I didn’t know that I wouldn’t see her or Jamaica until April 2009 nearly 11 years later. I couldn’t go back home because I was here on a visitor’s visa that was only valid for a couple of years and when those years ran out in 2007 I was stuck waiting 2 years for a green card. I was already a distant person and having to explain this to everyone I became close with made me just not want to become close with anyone. All my close friends knew it’s just that they all went off to college and I had to make new friends.

What was set up to be the worst two years of my life turned out to be the greatest. I actually found myself within these two years or began my journey of finding myself I found out a lot about myself and life. I here I have no idea why I’m here the only thing I’m sort of sure of is that I am going to die eventually. What’s the meaning of life? I honestly don’t know, but we’re all here.

I do not like rules or limitation, I don’t deal well to the fact that we are all human beings and yet there are people who have power over other. I don’t understand it but at the same time I understand that we all need to maintain some type of control or else the world go crazy. I really hate that I live in a time where the media rules the world and celebrities are looked up as gods. And I really hate that people think that we all like in a free country/world. If I got up right now and go outside in the cold with no clothes on I know that it’s probably against the law and I would probably be put in a mental hospital for doing so when in reality I just want to know how it feels. I don’t understand why everyone thinks that America is ever going to be equals among races. I want it to happen so bad that it hurts just thinking about it because I really hate labels; I hate them with a passion. We all eat, sleep, feel, and breathe no matter out sexual orientation, race or gender. America will never see pass blacks and whites for the simple fact that there’s a TV channel called BET (black Entertainment Television).If anyone comes out with a WET (White Entertainment Television) we will have big problems, and this Friday will be the premier of the first ever black Disney princess.

Ever since I was a little girl all i use to see on television was stupid ass shows telling children to Just be themselves and everyone else will accept them for being just that. So why is it that everywhere I go all I see is clones and the few people that I see that are truly making an effort to be themselves are getting knocked for it. It took me twenty one years to be the person that I am today, and I am still a work in progress. I'm at the point in my life where I've made a lot of mistakes but I learned from them. I've spent way too much time caring and following others, I'm at a good point in my life where I honestly, Well I'm not going to say I don't care what people think of me but I am going to saw despite what people think of me I'm going to do what I want anyway. When are people going to the only person you're hurting in the long run when you’re pretending to be someone that you're not is yourself. I wish I would have had this mentality years ago but I'm very happy I found it. Yes i like taking showers at 3am, yes I stare at clouds because i find them fascinating, yes I wash my hair almost every day, yes I like watching the twilight zone and shits about aliens maybe I'm just curious. I can spend hours by myself and not get bored. I’d rather listen to Billie Holiday, Erykah Badu and Bob Marley then any artist today. It's not a crime it's just me. I can't go a week without being called a weird but the funny thing is that no one can explain to me why I'm so weird. Everyone is weird or does things out of the norm but only few admit it. What’s so cool about being normal anyway, I feel bad for "normal" because they are too insecure to think for themselves.

I’ve lived a long life, and experienced a lot while during my life yet I’m still at the beginning of my life. I know I have a long way to go and I don’t feel like I’ve left a big enough mark in the world yet. I have too many un answered questions that I’m working on answering. I’ve never been in love I would like to try that out , maybe have children one day and as for the rest of my life I have no idea I’m just doing what I can to be secure in life as far as financially while trying to find a way of living my life the way I want it without breaking any laws or being called crazy, well I don’t mind the crazy part. How do I know what I know? I don’t really know I don’t think I know much of anything except that I’m here breathing, trying my best to get along with others like me and trying to find my purpose here and at this point I am totally lost.

Rain!!

2009-12-09T16:22:00.000-08:00

The weather was so nasty today. The rain, snow when I finished my class my socks was soaked. but I notice everyone with the cutest rain boots I always forget to buy one because I never think I need them or I use my money to buy other things.

Black Studs

2009-12-08T12:25:00.000-08:00

I Loveeee It

12.8.09

2009-12-08T11:25:00.001-08:00

For the love of fashion

2009-12-08T00:51:00.000-08:00

12.7.09

2009-12-08T00:16:00.001-08:00

P.S. I didn't get a perm just got bored and straightened my hair and now I really missed it.. Got a lot of compliments thou I fuckin hated it, every compliment felt like they were relieved i finally straightened my here.

I Read this story then said No More Perms.

2009-12-07T00:55:00.000-08:00

My First Conk

by: Malcolm X

Shorty soon decided that my hair was finally long enough to be conked. He had promised to school me in how to beat the barber shops’ three- and four-dollar price by making up congolene, and then conking ourselves.

I took the little list of ingredients he had printed out for me, and went to a grocery store, where I got a can of Red Devil lye, two eggs, and two medium-sized white potatoes. Then at a drugstore near the poolroom, I asked for a large jay of Vaseline, a large bay of soap, a large-toothed comb and a fine-toothed comb, one of those rubber hoses with a metal spray- head, a rubber apron, and a pair of gloves.

“Going to lay on that first conk?” the drugstore man asked me. I proudly told him, grinning, “Right!”

Shorty paid six dollars a week for a room in his cousin’s shabby apartment. His cousin wasn’t at home. “It’s like the pad’s mine, he spends so much time with his woman,” Shorty said. “Now, you watch me-”

He peeled the potatoes and tin sliced them into a quarter-sized Mason fruit jar, then started stirring them with a wooden spoon as he gradually pored in a little over half the can of lye. “Never use a metal spoon; the lye will turn it black,” he told me.

A jelly-like, starchy-looking glop resulted from the lye and potatoes, and Shorty broke in the two eggs, stirring real fast- his own conk and dark face bent down close. The congolene turned pale-yellowish. “Feel the jar,” Shorty said. I cupped my hand against the outside, and snatched it away. “Damn right, it’s hot, that’s the lye,” he said. “So you know it’s going to burn when I comb it in- it burns bad. But the longer you can stand it, the straighter the hair.”

He made me sit down, and he tied the string of the new rubber apron tightly around my neck, and combed up my bush of hair. Then, from the big Vaseline jar, he took a handful and massaged it hard all through my hair and into my scalp. He also thickly vaselined my neck, ears and forehead. “When I get to washing out your head, be sure to tell me anywhere you feel any little stinging,” Shorty warned me, washing his hands, then pulling on the rubber gloves, and tying on his own rubber apron. “You always got to remember that any congolene left in burns a sore into your head.”

The congolene just felt warm when Shorty started combing it in. But then my head caught fire.

I gritted my teeth and tried to pull the sides of the kitchen table together. The comb felt as if it was raking my skin off.

My eyes watered, my nose was running. I couldn’t stand it any longer; I bolted to the washbasin. I was cursing Shorty with every name I could think of when he got the spray going and started soap lathering my head.

He lathered and spray-rinsed, lathered and spray-rinsed, maybe ten or twelve times, each time gradually closing the hot-water faucet, until the rinse was cold, and that helped some.

“You feel any stinging spots?”

“No,” I managed to say. My knees were trembling.”

“Sit back down, then. I think we got it all out okay.”

The flame came back as Shorty, with a thick towel, started drying my head, rubbing hard. “Easy, man, easy!” I kept shouting.

“The first time’s always worst. You get used to it better before long. You took it real good, homeboy. You got a good conk.”

When Shorty let me stand up and see in the mirror, my hair hung down in limp, damp strings. My scalp still flamed, but not as badly; I could bear it. He draped the towel around my shoulders, over my rubber apron, and began again vaselining my hair.

I could feel him combing, straight back, first the big comb, then the fine-tooth one.

Then, he was using a razor, very delicately, on the back of my neck. Then, finally, shaping the sideburns.

My first view in the mirror blotted out the hurting. I’d seen some pretty conks but when it’s the first time, on your own head, the transformation, after the lifetime of kinks, is staggering.

The mirror reflected Shorty behind me. We both were grinning and sweating. And on top of my head was this thick, smooth sheen of shining red hair- real red- as straight as any white man’s.

How ridiculous I was! Stupid enough to stand there simply lost in admiration of my hair now looking “white,” reflected in the mirror in Shorty’s room. I vowed that I’d never again be without a conk, and I never was for many years.

This was my first really big step toward self-degradation: when I endured all of that pain, literally burning my flesh to have it look like a white man’s hair. I had joined that multitude of Negro men and women in America who are brainwashed into believing that the black people are “inferior”- and white people “superior”- that they will even violate and mutilate their God-created bodies to try to look “pretty” by white standards.

Look around today, in every small town and big city, from two-bit catfish and soda-pop joints into the “integrated” lobby of Waldorf Astoria, and you’ll see conks on black men. And you’ll see black

women wearing these green and pink and purple and red and platinum-blonde wigs. They’re all more ridiculous than a slapstick comedy. It makes you wonder if the Negro has completely lost his sense of identity, lost touch with himself.

You’ll see the conk worn by many, many so-called “upper class” Negroes, and, as much as I hate to say it about them, on all too many Negro entertainers. One of the reasons that I’ve especially admired some of them, like Lionel Hampton and Sidney Poitier, among others, is that they have kept their natural hair and fought to the top. I admire any Negro man who has never had himself conked, or who has had the sense to get ride of it- as I finally did.

I don’t know which kind of self-defacing conk is the greater shame- the one you’ll see on the heads of the black so-called “middle class” and “upper class,” who ought to know better, or the one you’ll see on the heads of the poorest, most downtrodden, ignorant black men. I mean the legal-minimum-wage ghetto-dwelling kind of Negro, as I was when I got my first one. It’s generally among these poor fools that you’ll see a black kerchief over the man’s head, like Aunt Jemima; he’s trying to make his conk last longer, between trips to the barbershop. Only for special occasions is this kerchief-protected conk exposed- to show off how “sharp” and “hip” its owner is. The ironic thing is that I have never heard any woman, white or black, express any admiration for a conk. Of course, any white woman with a black man isn’t thinking about his hair. But I don’t see how on earth a black woman with any race pride could walk down the street with any black man wearing a conk- the emblem of his shame that he is black.

To my own shame, when I say all of this, I’m talking first of all about myself- because you can’t show me any Negro who ever conked more faithfully than I did. I’m speaking from personal experience when I say of any black man who conks today, or any white-wigged black woman, that if they gave the brains in their heads just half as much attention as they do their hair, they would be a thousand times better off.

P.S I had blonde hair at one point in my life.. I was younger and it was a trend I saw the beyonce's and the rihannas and it was just everywhere.

The 80's

2009-12-07T00:05:00.000-08:00

I was born in the 80's but it was the late 80's 1988.That sucks i lived a year and a few months in the 80's which I would say is better than nothing. I ♥ the 80's everything from the fashion, music, movies. just the way they lived their lives care free...they wore the craziest things but it was just whatever!! I guess the 80's is coming back they're trying to bring it back but they're its just not the same.

12.3.09

2009-12-03T14:11:00.000-08:00

Shades

2009-12-03T13:45:00.000-08:00

Heard this song by Wale and Chrisette Michele and I think its beautiful and very true. I've thought about this dark skin light skinned issue before and I can go on and on about it but the fact is there is a huge bias in the media and society. I sad down and wonder wheter Halle berry, Beyonce, Rihanna... would be considered some of the most beautiful women if they were dark skinned.But you know I think we're all black at the end of the day our race is beautiful and diverse its amazing I wish people could just see that and stop trying to change.

Chip on my shoulda
Big enough to feed Cambodia
See I never fit into they quotas

Sneakers wasn't fittin' and my knees needed lotion
Long before I knew the significance of a comb
I roam like foam with no vocal reception
Immigrant parents had me feeling like a step-kid
And black Americans never did accept me
That's why I thrive so much winnin' respect, dig
I never fit in with them light skins
I thought the lighter they was, the better that they life is
So I resented them and they resented me
Cheated on light skin Dominique, we were 17
I figure I hurt her she'd evidently hurt me
And all women who have light features see
I never let a light broad hurt me
That's why I strike first and the first cut's deep

From a light skin girl to a dark skin brotha
Shade doesn't matter, heart makes the lover
Boy you so beautiful
Boy you so beautiful
Shade doesn't matter, heart makes the lover
Honey brown, caramel, coffee brown, chocolate, toffee, pecan, licorice
Boy you so beautiful

Just another knotty head nigga
Hoping Wes Snipes make my life a bit different
In middle school I had the right to be timid
I had beautiful words but girls never listened
Listen, blacker the berry, sweeter the product
Well I'm fruit punch concentrate and they water
Walk into my room thinking how to make moves
Ain't thinking like a student, but how Ice-T do it
Light dudes had the girls looking there
Aw yea it's not fair
The ones with the good hurr
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Couldn't adapt to naps I wore caps
They napped and slept on me
Man I hate black, skin tone
I wish I could take it back or rearrange my status
Maybe if I was khaki
Associating light skin with classy
The minstrel show, showed a me that was not me

From a light skin girl to a dark skin brotha
Shade doesn't matter, heart makes the lover
Boy you so beautiful
Boy you so beautiful
Shade doesn't matter, heart makes the lover
Honey brown, caramel, coffee brown, chocolate, toffee, pecan, licorice
Boy you so beautiful

They say black is beautiful
But ask them beautiful light girls if it's black they attract to usually
What if Barack's skin was all black?
Truthfully would he be a candidate or just a black in community?
We as black dudes tend to lack unity
And them blacker girls ain't on the tube usually
Right now at 23 I ain't mad at them reds no more
But for long time I had gone cold blind
Full of my own insecurity
It was holding me
Back to reds, I ain't know how to act
They would get the cold shoulder
And know it was an act, a defense mechanism
What I thought that I lacked (confidence)

From a light skin girl to a dark skin brotha
Shade doesn't matter, heart makes the lover
Boy you so beautiful
Boy you so beautiful
Shade doesn't matter, heart makes the lover
Honey brown, caramel, coffee brown, chocolate, toffee, pecan, licorice
Boy you so beautiful

Just be you

2009-12-03T13:40:00.000-08:00

As a child I had long curly hair that no one was able to control. The kids in school made fun of me because of it. I eventually grew tired so at age nine my grandmother walked in my room to find me with my ponytail in my hand. After that the other kids still made fun of me because now I didn’t have enough hair. My hair eventually grew back and I had long curly hair again. I was now in junior high where most of my peers had straight hair. I couldn’t get straight hair because my mom wouldn’t let me. She finally gave in at my 8^th grade graduation and now I had straight hair like everyone else, I hated it. My junior year of hair school I discovered hair dye, then later on hair extensions. I’ve had short, long medium, jet black, light brown, pink, red, and purple hair. I’ve chopped my hair off a few more times, and now my hair is back to its right color and texture.

Don’t be afraid to try new things; don’t be afraid to take risk. People are going to judge you no matter what you do more people will appreciate you for just being yourself.

12.2.09

2009-12-02T23:53:00.001-08:00

11/30/09

2009-11-30T15:40:00.001-08:00

Im not a sneaker wearing kinda girl in fact I only own two sneaker this one in the pic and one that i've had for almost a year and still haven't worn it. Anyways bought this jacket last week I love it it only cost $17 at forever 21. I don't buy expensive clothes I really don't I feel bad doing so. I really don't care at all about labels if I see something I like I will get it. The most expensive things I buy are jeans which I don't have much of because i REALLY DON'T LIKE THEM BUT I buy pants not jeans though I don't know the material, from Hot Topic because I love their pants. and their pants cost $40 but are worth it.

My Twins

2009-11-29T17:23:00.000-08:00

It was two of my bestfriend's Birthday well its today but their surprise party was yesterday in Brooklyn. I love these two girls Been friends with them since junior high. Most of my friends I have i've known since high school and before that, not very trusting to new people. Its kinda made me lazy because I feel that i've already found great lifetime freinds that I don't even make the effort to meet new ones.

Neon Pink

2009-11-27T22:48:00.000-08:00

So you know how in college most girls gravitate to their college sweats well I do so with my leggings I really hate jean... I'm trying to its really an addiction

My 3 babies

2009-11-27T22:31:00.000-08:00

This was My fist tattoo, its also the biggest tattoo I have and the only one with color. Its two butterflies with faces on them kissing i thought it was cool.Got it like a week after my 19th Bithday, it lasted about a hour and 20min the tattoo artists made a bet against me because they thought I was gonna cry..I didn't...lol

this is my second one, it took literally about 5 min it stung a little and bleed a bit but nothing bad. Its my zodiac sign just fliped and done a little..a lot different.

this is my third one a dragon Dragons are cool, Powerful, Brave, and its also my Chinese year.

Their Eyes Were Watching God = ♥

2009-11-23T00:32:00.000-08:00

This is my favorite movie. Its seriously the only movie I can and have watched over and over again and it doesn't get old.

ME

2009-11-21T03:20:00.000-08:00

My People

The night is beautiful,
So the faces of my people.

The stars are beautiful,
So the eyes of my people.

Beautiful, also, is the sun.
Beautiful, also, are the souls of my people

by Langston Hughes

So Last night I stayed up until almost 5:30 am because I just couldn't go to sleep just like right now seeing as it is 6:11 am and i still haven't slept. so yea I then woke up at 8:30 so I jumped out of bed with my hair looking just as it did when I fell asleep I threw on some clothes and headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth and splash my face with some cold water. I headed back to my room and look in the mirror and saw that one of my earrings were gone.OMG i never go out without my stud earrings. I sleep in it its just always there. So finally I just took the other one out which was very hard for me. I also usually put eye-liner and mascara on. But I didn't do that I didn't even comb my hair.

Yea I know that's major. after walking from my second class I really thought about what was going on so I went to the bathroom and took a picture of this historic moment in my life.

So I just felt inspired today and I thought about other things like how I never wear my hair back. Its really because I'm super shy and I get a lot of comfort hiding behind my hair, but I think it also has to do with the fact that I was told for a long time that I had a big forehead ever since I can remember..

I don't i've been through most of the things that the average college freshmen are now going through because I'm 21 and I took two years out of school. But as corny as it may sound I'm spending a lot more time with myself, improving , myself...finally finding myself and I'm happy. I am so Happy. Usually when I walk outside cheesing to myself there's a guy involved and there is no guy and I cheese while walking.

11/19/09

2009-11-19T19:53:00.001-08:00

Weirdo

2009-11-18T23:56:00.000-08:00

Ever since I was a little girl all i use to see on television was stupid ass shows telling children to Just be themselves and everyone else will accept them for being just that. So why is it that everywhere I go all I see is clones and the few people that I see that are truly making an effort to be themselves are getting knocked for it. It took me twenty one years to be the person that I am today, and I am still a work in progress. I'm at the point in my life where I've made a lot of mistakes but I learned from them. I've spent way too much time caring and following others, I'm at a good point in my life where I honestly...Well I'm not gonna say I don't care what people think of me but I am gonna saw despite what people think of me I'm gonna do what I want anyway. when are people gonna the only person you're hurting in the long run when youre pretending to be someone that you're not is yourself. I wish I would have had this mentality years ago but I'm very happy I found it. Yes i like taking showers at 3am, yes I stare at clouds because i find them fascinating, yes I wash my hair almost everyday, yes I like watching the twilight zone and shits about aliens maybe I'm just curious. I can spend hous by myself and not get bored. i'd rather listen to Billie Holiday, Erykah Badu and Bob Marley rather than, Gucci mane, nicki minaj and drake. It's not a fucking crime it's just me. i can't go a week without being called a weirdo but the funny thing is that no one can explain to me why I'm so weird. everyone is weird or does things out of the norm but only few admit it. Whats so cool about being normal anyway, I feel bad for "normal" because they are too insecure to think for themselves.

Brandon Hines

2009-11-18T22:23:00.000-08:00

I saw this guy perform in 07 at Howard homecoming and he's extremly talented..so i was on twitter complaining about my essays instead of actually doing it and I used the word "overdose" and then I thought about him because the song he performed was called "overdose"..OMG he's soo good so now i'm catching up with him on you tube I mean through his videos I don't know him. then while doing this I got Mad. The reason I got mad is there is soo much bullshit out there on the Radio and here we have someone with real talent Why isn't he on the Radio?UGHHHHHHHH!!!

My Favorite things

2009-11-17T17:26:00.000-08:00

1.My fav. Bag it only cost me $8, I’ve had it for 5 months.
2.I love V-necks the men ones Hanes the best
3.My Black leggings..I can wear leggings every day I hate jeans.
4.My camera..for where ever I go
5.My boots I wear them a lot, I need to take a break from them..its hard thou
6.Cover Girl lashblast
7.My celly of course where without it I am disconnected from the world.
8.Maybelline natural color shadow palette
9.Black eye-liner marker by wet n wild
10.This is natural Shea butter this is like my foundation I don’t wear makeup away from eye shadows and lipstick. Its by Afrika.
11.These are just soft rods I use for my curls real easy and I can sleep in them.
12.Hair mousse which is really important for me now in my transition in going natural, it helps my relaxed hair blends with the natural.
13.Pink lipstick and lip gloss, lip gloss by Bobbi Brown..its real good.
14.These are jelly bracelets I honestly just got tired of losing bracelets I buy and just bought this that just stays on my hand.
15.Vaseline what can I say, I use it for my whole body after I take showers at night and just go to bed..mmmm
16.Yea I just love Johnson’s baby lotion
17.Hair polisher thats it
18.Hair pins…to hold my hair up duhh
19.I just love coke I was off soda for a while now I just drink coke.
20.Orange is my favorite color I love it on my nails.
21.HP laptop
22.Ughh these are my fav. Heels I wish I had gotten them in black because these do not go with a lot of my outfits.
23.Ferrero Rocher..my fav chocolate I hate a pack of 16, all of it at once.

11/17/09

2009-11-17T16:50:00.000-08:00

Fro-Hawk

2009-11-17T13:53:00.001-08:00

Boonaa Mohammed

2009-11-16T23:13:00.001-08:00

The video speaks for itself...MMMM I LOVEEEE it.

http://www.youtube.com/user/boonaa

In New YORKKKK

2009-11-15T13:46:00.001-08:00

Went to new YORK lAST NIGHT HAD a Blast, I only too one pic..suck...but i will be back most likely for new years..OMG I must live there for atleast a year of my life.Its amazing.

Rihanna smiles...lol

2009-11-14T00:01:00.000-08:00

Been a fan of rihanna since her first album and i've never seen this side of her I think its cool.

Penis and Vagina

2009-11-13T23:35:00.000-08:00

Gender, Sex and Compulsory Heterosexuality Hierarchies

An expecting mother is on her way to visit the doctor where she will find out her child’s sex. She will finally know whether her child will have a penis or a vagina. The fact that in just a few moments she will know for sure if this youngster will have eggs or sperms. This excites her because this will help her a great deal in planning a baby shower. The gender will assist her in deciding whether to have pink or blue decorations. This piece of information is the key that will let the guest know whether to buy dresses or pants. Of course this baby will be heterosexual, anything other than that hasn’t even crossed her mind. We live in a compulsory heterosexual society where anything that goes beyond attraction of the opposite sex is taboo or away from the “norms” and that is always a problem. The idea that society associate heterosexual as natural was introduced by Adrienne Rich in 1980. The “norm” is a big part of our society and anything that exceeds that is always question. South African runner Caster Semenya won the 800-meter in 2009 World Athletics Championships in Berlin, and she had to take a medical sex test. We grew up on fairytales in a heterosexual world, be careful not to ever think of changing our perfect family structure of a man and a woman because that would ruin everything. This soon to be mother better hope that her child comes out normal.
As children we are generally taught early on depending on individuals parenting styles about the difference in anatomy between girls and boys. As they move on to middle school children get further informed on the internal difference between a male and a female which are the reproductive organs. South African runner Caster Semenya was indeed born a female but just because she appeared masculine in appearance and did not fit the ideal image of a female her sex was questioned. Not only questioned after she effortlessly won the 800-meter race in the Berlin Championship, she had to take a medical sex test. I remember at the end of my senior year of high school my gym class had to take a fitness test. I was the only girl in the class that kept up and eventually did better than the boys in my class and it became a big surprise to everyone just because I am a female. In that very same class I noticed that some of the other girls could have done way better than they actually did, but they act as if they were ashamed to show any type of strength because they are girls.
It’s nothing new that when it comes to the two genders male and female, society has its own view of what is acceptable or normal behavior for each gender. Females should behave feminine while men are seen as masculine. There are certain traits that go along with each gender and if someone were to posses or show any sign that belongs to the opposing gender then they are out of the “norm.” Growing up we’re taught that girls are just these delicate flowers, and we can’t do anything but cook and take care of children. That’s why our mothers keep us in the house and to do chores like cooking and cleaning while the boy goes and play sports. As long as I can remember I have never been interested in cooking, my mother is still trying to teach me to cook at the age of 21. And she never fails to ask me “How are you ever going to keep a husband when you don’t cook or clean?” and I always reply “My husband is going to cook for me.” I’m sure that she means that in the best way possible but it just shows how women are and have been perceived for generations.
In 1980 Adrienne Rich introduced “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence” where she explores society’s assumption that everyone is heterosexual. Heterosexuality is forced upon women because it is put in every little girl’s head that they’re suppose to get married to a man and have children in order to build an acceptable family structure. Women are looked as less important by men we’re constantly degraded in the media in ad in magazines and when we think of famous women in society sex comes to mind. There’s a billion dollar porn industry that does nothing but show that men are dominant and women are just good for pleasure.
Most girls grew up watching or at least hearing about fairytales that tells us that one day we’re going to be swept off our feet by a man and live happily ever after. Nowhere in these fairytales do I ever hear of Cinderella meeting Snow White, falling in love and living happily ever after. If any little boy were to have visions Prince Charming instead of Cinderella, he will no longer be considered a part of society’s “norms” and therefore he must be sick.
It’s in our magazines it’s on our televisions these stereotypes and labels that we have that’s separating males from females and separating us as people. Even before the nine months are up in a pregnancy labels are already being placed on us depending on what sex we are. Later in our own house we are taught what being a lady is and the traits that comes with each gender. Divorce ratings are going up and more and more people are complaining about being single. But how can we find a person to live happily ever after with when we’re so limited and concerned with label.

P.S this is a paper I wrote for my inquiry got a A on it:)

2:30 in the morning

2009-11-13T23:29:00.000-08:00

It's really rainy outside..I Love it. it's 2:30 in the morning, its quite the only thing I hear is the rain outside. there's something I find calming about it.I love being the only one up.

11/12/09

2009-11-12T14:23:00.000-08:00

Limitless Love

2009-11-11T21:52:00.000-08:00

Got some sleep today, which I've been lacking these past couple of days. which is ironic cause i'm up at 12:50 with a 4 page essay due tomorrow at 12:25.. but umm thats just me ughh.

I saw this this video the other day and its I Lovee it!!! I wish she would make more.

11.11.09

2009-11-11T21:44:00.000-08:00

11/10/09

2009-11-10T15:40:00.001-08:00